Welcome to The Heart Pyre. This is episode 30, What Changes Us.

[SFX nature sounds, distant running water, horse walking as it drags cart]

The group sat in silence on the floor of the wooden cart as it exited the city. Not a single word was exchanged as they crossed the river to Hrevim’s north, nor when they passed the fields of barley and rows of olive trees that surrounded the city. Rena observed her companions, only occasionally meeting Rodrick or Finn’s gaze, the other three too busy looking out at the surrounding landscape. She waited for any of them to break the silence, wanted to allow them to address the run-in with Deacon themselves, but time kept passing and no one dared say anything.

Rena wasn’t sure how long it would take them to reach Paemehri but she guessed at least a couple of hours. The thought of passing all this time in silence, with no one addressing anything that had happened or that would happen, twisted something strange in her stomach. She couldn’t stop her mind from spiralling as it imagined a million terrible things the Crow could do to her sister or all the ways Deacon could be taking his frustrations out on Jesper. She was certain the others had to be thinking about it too, that the silence came from everyone’s fear of what could happen, but how could they break this fear if they didn’t address it out loud?

RENA (hesitant): W-what’s our plan once we arrive at the old monastery?

[pause]

KALANI: We won’t know until we’ve seen what we’re dealing with.

Kalani looked out at the olive groves with one arm resting on the cart’s side and her head resting on her fist. Rena wished she’d turn around and smile at her, reassure her like she usually did, but Kalani’s body stayed as still as a statue.

RENA (hesitant): We … do need to know what to do when we arrive in Paemehri though, right?

[pause]

KALANI: I’m still figuring that out.

RENA (defeated voice): Right. [pause] It’ll be late when we arrive.

KALANI (distracted): It will.

RENA (nervous): We’ll have to find a place to sleep.

KALANI: Mhm.

RENA: And something to eat.

KALANI: Hmm.

RENA (nervous rambling): We have a bit of money left from when we bought Logan’s medicine this morning, but not much. I’m not sure it’ll be enough to pay for all of our lodging. Maybe we can find another merchant who’d be willing to buy some of our trinkets. Or we can exchange something for a cheap room we can share. We still have some of the food Maniala gave us, maybe that’ll be enough for today. [pause] Do we… go look for the Crow tonight or do we wait until tomorrow?

[pause]

KALANI: I think tonight.

RENA: Makes sense… I don’t think I’d be able to sleep anyway. Not with knowing Maya might be so close by.

[small pause]

KALANI: We’ll need to scout the region first. The cover of night will be our friend. Will make it easier to see their monastery from further away. We’re getting close to a full moon, that should be enough light to travel by.

[small pause]

RENA (hesitant): What do we do when we find the monastery?

[pause]

KALANI: For now, just investigate the place from afar and come back in broad daylight when we’ve had time to figure out what the next best move is.

RENA (hesitant): Okay … I… don’t know if I can just leave Maya behind if I see her.

KALANI: You’re staying in Paemehri, Rena.

RENA (shocked): What?!

KALANI: [sigh] It’s too dangerous. We don’t have anything to defend ourselves with besides Asha’s sword and I’m not sure we can find any other weapons on such short notice. Finn doesn’t even have his rapier anymore. We’ll need to play this on the defensive and make absolutely sure no one notices us as we get close.

RENA: But I can be quiet! I won’t draw any attention to me, I promise! You can’t just decide on your own who has to stay behind!

LOGAN: It is kind of unfair that you don’t want her to join in her sister’s rescue.

KALANI (annoyed): Logan… we’re not rescuing anyone tonight, not yet. Not until we know what we’re dealing with. And you’re also staying behind.

LOGAN: No?? Why would I stay behind?

KALANI (annoyed): You’re injured. And you’ve worsened our situation enough already.

[small pause]

LOGAN (annoyed): So now Deacon’s shitty life decisions are my fault.

KALANI (angry): Yes they are! They definitely are if you are the reason why he’s acting like this.

LOGAN (angry): I told him his plan wasn’t going to work out! It’s not my fault if he doesn’t listen. Just cause I hire him for something and then he’s too stupid to come up with a decent plan that isn’t going to get him thrown into jail and too stubborn to recognise that others might be right, doesn’t mean it’s my fault when he obsesses over my family lineage and tries to extort money from me.

KALANI (calm but angry): If you hadn’t let this idiotic argument go on for this long we wouldn’t have yet another problem to deal with on top of this shit show we’re already dealing with.

[small pause]

LOGAN: I didn’t think he’d escalate it like this.

KALANI: Yes, exactly. You didn’t think.

[pause]

RENA (hesitant): What was Deacon talking about anyway? About… your father and the train’s construction?

Logan looked over at Rena for a moment, lips parted, a pained expression drawing his eyebrows together. His jaw clenched and unclenched, mouth opening and closing, but no words came out. His eyes drifted away, one shoulder pulling up into a non-commital shrug, head shaking from side to side.

[pause]

FINN: From what I’ve seen from documents in the archive, the rail network’s construction isn’t advancing as smoothly as the North likes to pretend.

Since their departure, Finn’s sharp eyes had been observing them all very carefully, but most of all Logan. On any other day, Logan would surely have been elated by the attention and wouldn’t have let it pass without a comment, but at that moment he refused to even meet Finn’s gaze.

FINN: I don’t know much, either. The documents aren’t always easy to decipher. And there’s all of these other rumours floating around. Not all of them are true, of course, but there’s always a morsel of truth somewhere. The train line will run from Mak-Hemma’s citadel in the east through Jodash and Menakala to Mashod in the west. Some of it has already been built, leaving Mak-Hemma. I haven’t seen how far they’ve come, though. And there’s talk of connecting it to the Daishegian Empire but they’d have to find a way to get it over or through the mountain range north of Mashod. I don’t think anything concrete has been decided yet. That would be… a tremendous undertaking. I’m not sure it would be worth it. Our relations with the Daishegian Empire aren’t that great.

RENA (confused): Okay…

FINN: I’ve also heard that they’re planning on building a bridge to the Kano-Raeki Federation in Jodash. There are places where the sea’s quite narrow there, shouldn’t be too much of an issue to build a bridge that could carry a train. They’ll need to figure out how to run the train over bridges anyway if they want to get it to Mashod. It’s pretty clear that their main objective with this project is to connect our kingdom to its neighbours and forgo maritime travel, for whatever reason. I don’t think this train could ever be as interesting as the centuries of shipbuilding this kingdom has produced.

RODRICK: As spectacular as maritime travel is, it also takes quite a lot of time and depends a lot on weather conditions. This train would be able to complete the same journeys much faster and through any type of weather. And it would certainly benefit our kingdom’s trade relations with our neighbours. It is no wonder we do not have a strong relationship with the Daeshegian Empire if their representatives either have to travel the entire width of our kingdom by carriage or traverse the Federation to get to our capital. There is simply no easy way to get to Mak-Hemma by sea from the west. Granted, most of our relations have been with the East throughout our history, but we should not disregard any nation to the west of us. And I’m certain this train is not just being constructed to transport goods. It could also aid people in simply visiting our wonderful home. I’ve heard that they’re ramping up their cultural exchange efforts in the north to entice more people to visit us. Especially Jodash has been quite revolutionary in their approach to presenting our kingdom’s gifts to our neighbours.

RENA (confused): Thank you both for all this … information but what does that have to do with what Deacon talked about?

FINN: It’s quite an ambitious project. Needs a lot of resources. Those resources have to come from somewhere and the north doesn’t have a lot of mineral deposits.

RENA: Okay…

FINN: So from what I know, most of the ore is being mined in Red Hill in the west. Some people claim it’s unfair Red Hill is being mined bare for a train line that will never reach the province, others counter-argue that what benefits one part of the kingdom, benefits us all. There are also rumours about unsafe working conditions and people being underpaid. I can’t talk much about that, though. I haven’t been to Red Hill in a very long time and any of the documents I’ve seen about these working conditions haven’t stood out to me as particularly dissimilar to any other work contracts for such a big project. But I must admit, I never looked into it in any detail. I’m not sure how Logan’s family plays into this issue, though.

LOGAN (annoyed): Deacon’s connecting dots that shouldn’t be connected. I just wanted to know what was up with this train stuff so I collected all kinds of information about it and I asked him to get some documents for me. People say someone’s giving Red Hill’s governor a shit ton of money to keep the iron flowing as fast as possible and I wanted to know who exactly that might be and now Deacon’s somehow convinced that’s my father.

RENA: And it isn’t?

LOGAN (annoyed): No of course it isn’t! You think it’d be sleeping in a tent if my father had enough money to build a whole train network?

FINN: It would have to be someone from the nobility if those rumours are true. This is the Royal Council’s project, they wouldn’t let anyone they don’t trust touch it, no matter how rich of a merchant they were. There’s probably a lot of lower nobility they wouldn’t let near the project either.

RODRICK: They certainly are also collaborating with the Royal Tinkering Institute in Mak-Hemma but only a very select group of people gets to work there.

LOGAN: Exactly! And do I look like high nobility to you? Or smart enough to join the institute?

ASHA: You’re stupid and arrogant enough to be high nobility.

LOGAN: Oh, shut up, Asha. [sigh] Listen, all I wanted was for Deacon to steal those documents so I could verify the identity of Red Hill’s mysterious benefactor and maybe blackmail him and potentially do a good deed while getting stinking rich.

ASHA: So noble of you. I can see how Deacon made those assumptions about your father.

LOGAN: Asha… [sigh] I don’t know how Deacon came to the conclusion that I somehow have to be family with this guy. I’m not even sure he truly believes it himself. He probably just wants to intimidate me into giving him more money.

Kalani had a look on her face that Rena had never seen before and it made a cold shudder run down her back. All softness and kindness had left Kalani and had been replaced with cold indignation.

KALANI: You should have paid him his fair wage before sending him to do your dirty work.

LOGAN: I did, Kalani. I paid him just as much as I’ve always done. All thefts come with a certain risk of getting caught. He knows that, you know that, we all know that! This one wasn’t any more dangerous than any of the previous ones.

KALANI: Then you should have made sure the issue had been resolved before leaving.

LOGAN: I tried! You brought me to him! We talked with Cass about the whole stupid situation. What more do you want me to do?

ASHA: Was that when Rena and Rodrick went to get the letter from my uncle? Before we left for the archives? When you came back all twitchy and nervous and wanted to leave as quickly as possible? Didn’t seem like you’d made sure the issue had been resolved.

LOGAN (defensive): I- … Why are you all so angry at me now? I’m sorry, okay? I made a mistake. I didn’t know we were going to be gone for this long and I couldn’t predict Deacon was going to obsess over it to the point he’d be chasing me across half the kingdom. It barely even makes sense, not for some money. I think he just… doesn’t like me or something.

RENA (hesitant): Logan’s right. He didn’t know he was departing on such a long journey. He was just meant to help me get into the archives, everything that came after wasn’t exactly planned. And who knows when we’ll be able to get home now.

KALANI (exasperated): It’s not your fault, Rena… It’s nobody’s fault. We’re all just … on edge. [sigh] Who knows what’ll await us? And there’s nothing I hate more than not being able to plan ahead.

RENA (shy): Are you sure I can’t come with you?

KALANI: No. The Crow’s too unpredictable. They don’t adhere to the most basic social rule of not randomly murdering entire towns and they don’t even adhere to their religion’s rules like Rodrick said. If keeping the integrity of their god’s memory or essence isn’t even important to them, then it’s impossible to know what they’ll do next. We can speculate as much as we want about this ritual, we won’t know what their next move is without seeing it with our own eyes.

RENA (shy): So the more eyes, the better, right?

KALANI: [sigh]

RODRICK: Rena, I think Kalani’s right. It might be too dangerous for us. We aren’t used to these types of situations, not like the others are.

RENA (small voice, pouty): If we always stay behind, we’ll never get used to them.

RODRICK: I know, but today is not the day to gain experience. I’ll stay in Paemehri with you, yes? We shouldn’t bring Vincent along anyway, so someone has to stay behind no matter what. And there’s much we have to discuss about these rituals before we can truly face the Crow, even if we don’t know exactly what they’re planning.

[SFX paper rustle]

RENA (confused): What’s that?

RODRICK: I wanted to delve deeper into these documents at the library but there was no time. Truthfully, I could have stayed there until the evening but, alas, our circumstances didn’t allow it. There’s so much more we can discover through texts. Between the documents mentioning reincarnation and those mentioning how to make someone become a god, I’m sure we can find out what the Crow is currently doing. It is truly fascinating all the things people can make themselves believe in.

LOGAN (kinda amused): You stole something from the library? Didn’t know you had it in you, old man.

RODRICK: Oh no, no, I’ll give it back! There was just no time to read it all in great detail before we had to leave the city. If the three of us read it thoroughly while the others find the monastery’s location, I’m sure we can decipher what exactly they’re trying to do, how they’re trying to do it and then eventually reverse what they have already done.

[SFX page rustle]

RODRICK (quieter, fades into background): I’ve already talked with Rena about these different theories. It is difficult to tell what exactly the Crow is planning but I do believe they are working on something similar to what these old documents are mentioning. Whether it is simply creating a new version of Tavuu’Moda or trying to reincarnate him, is impossible to tell at this point. Not until we’ve seen what exactly they’re doing at the monastery. They might be trying to true reincarnation of Tavuu’Moda’s essence, or his spirit, whatever you might want to call it. His memories and thoughts and opinions, anything besides his physical body. They want to transpose those into another body, preferably a living body, which means they need to find a suitable one first. This supposed reincarnation usually happens without human intervention, well, if you want to call it usually. It is just a belief, after all, I don’t think these things actually truthfully happen. We’d all be filled with memories from when the kingdom was first created if that was the case. Wouldn’t we all have constant headaches then? [chuckle] Anyway, all this to say, if this is truly what the Crow is trying to do, which, I think, might be the case, it would explain why they took Rena’s sister if they in fact did take her. They need vessels to transpose Tavuu’Moda’s essence into, to have a controlled reincarnation. I’m sure they have tried this more than once, before. I can even imagine that Captain Silac is one such experiment, but I doubt it worked as well as they wanted it to or he wouldn’t be himself anymore. Maybe the reincarnation was only partial and Silac was lucky he got the side with the strange abilities. Or they tried one of the other rituals of creating a new version of Tavuu’Moda or Kaepi’Pari inside of Captain Silac and it did not go the way they wanted it to. But seeing as the Crow’s arsons have grown in frequency over these last few months, I fear they’re getting nearer to figuring out the actual ritual. Or that at least they think they are.

As Rodrick unfolded all the pages he had stolen from the library, dread crept over Rena. She became restless, listening to Rodrick explain once more what her sister’s body might be used for. She wanted to jump down and run to Paemehri herself, knew she could run faster than the horse could pull their cart, but how far could she really run? She turned her head and looked out at the vast landscape in front of them as the sun was low on the horizon, dousing the tops of the hills to their right in a golden orange. As Rodrick explained his theories to the rest of their group, Rena scanned the countryside for traces of old ruins, for any light or smoke emerging where no town was, but of course, their search couldn’t be so easy.

What would Maya look like if the Crow’s ritual succeeded? Would she still be Maya? Would her hair have grown? Would it reach her shoulders already? Or had the Crow cut it short? Would she still have their mother’s bright hazel eyes or would Tavuu’Moda take that away from her too? Would her soft, copper skin be ruined by those horrible green veins that had spread over Captain Silac’s face? Would she still remember Rena?

Rodrick had said the vessel would need to be empty for the reincarnation to work and the Crow would certainly not be satisfied with a partial reincarnation. So they’d need to take everything that made Maya her sister out of her body. All the memories of their hometown, of their family, of their bakery, all the days they’d spent at school, all the nights they’d spent whispering to each other, it would all be gone. Would Rena be able to survive that? To see her sister’s body and know she wasn’t her sister anymore? To maybe even have to fight her sister’s body to stop the Crow from doing whatever they wanted to do next?

And Kalani wanted her to stay behind tonight. To sit in a cold room in a tiny town and wait for the sun to rise before going to save her sister. To read through all these possibilities of what might be happening to Maya and do nothing about it. To not even make sure her sister was truly still her sister and not just an empty body.

Rena’s throat closed up, a thick lump keeping her from breathing as a tear ran down her face and obscured her vision.

~~~~

[SFX tavern sounds can be heard from far away]

Rena sat on one of the three beds that had been crammed into the small, barren room, her gaze fixed on the lantern hung outside the inn that could be seen from their one, dirty window. Kalani had won, after all. In truth, Rena never had a chance to join the search for the old monastery. Everyone was too worried about her, everyone thought her too inexperienced. And they were right, in a sense, she had to admit that. She knew nothing about this type of work, but did Finn? He had grown up surrounded by scrolls and regulations, not hills to sneak around on. Did he know so much more about this than she did? He wasn’t that much older than her, certainly no more than 5 years, had he truly learned so much in those short years that she’d never considered? But what was to be done about it? Five adults had decided she’d stay behind in the safety of this rickety inn, so she did.

               [SFX fire crackle getting louder]

The fire flickered faintly behind the lantern’s milky glass, burning its oranges and yellows into her eyes. She wrung her hands until her skin burned, then she proceeded to dig her nails into her palms. She could hear the crackling of the lantern’s fire. She knew that was impossible, that such a faint sound would not be able to travel through walls, not even walls that let in all the cold from outside, but she could still hear it as if she was sitting next to a bonfire.

She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head.

[SFX fire crackle stops]

Kalani, Asha and Finn had left just a few minutes ago and Rodrick had left not long after to let Vincent run through the town that was barely more than a tavern and two warehouses. Only Logan remained in the room with her. He was lying on the bed next to hers, arms folded beneath his head, eyes shut tight, a single bead of sweat running down the side of his face.

[small pause]

RENA (concerned): Do you think they’re doing okay?

LOGAN (nonchalant): They’re fine.

RENA: You’re not worried.

LOGAN: Worrying isn’t gonna help anyone right now.

RENA: I don’t think I can just switch it off like that.

LOGAN: Just think of something else.

[pause]

RENA: How?

               [SFX bed creaking, covers moving]

LOGAN: [sigh] What’s your favourite thing to do during the summer?

RENA (pensive): My favourite thing to do? … I always liked swimming in the ocean. In the late afternoon, when the stones were still warm and the water was just the right temperature. When my parents wanted some time alone I’d take my siblings to the ocean. My friend Tala would join with her siblings, and sometimes my cousins would come, and we’d all swim together. We don’t really have beaches near Oceansthrow, not like they have here. It’s a lot of cliffs and stones, but we’d know where the water’s calmest and the ground hurts the least to walk on. … [small voice] But that’s all over now.

[pause]

RENA (hasty): What did you like to do as a child?

LOGAN: Oh man, as a child? Tough question… Mischief. Generally a lot of mischief. And once my brother was old enough, I’d teach him the mischief. But he was never as good as me though, so he’d always get caught. He was a cute child, though, so he wouldn’t actually get into trouble, and he was loyal enough not to rat me out. Not a bad kid, all in all.

RENA: What’s his name?

[small pause]

LOGAN: [deep sigh] Vic.

RENA: Do you still see him sometimes?

LOGAN: Nope. Haven’t seen him in… almost a decade, probably.

RENA (hesitant): Why not?

[small pause]

LOGAN: It’s complicated. Family relations don’t mesh well with this type of life if you weren’t born into it.

RENA: You weren’t?

LOGAN: Not really. Not into this specific. Cass and Rancor and all that. Not that my parents are the most upstanding citizens either.

RENA: Do you miss them?

LOGAN: My parents? Not even for a second.

RENA: Your brother?

[pause]

LOGAN: Sometimes… But it’s for the best… And I get why Deacon thinks my father has to be this big, dark secret, but he’s just your garden-variety crook from the north. Nothing special about him. I just don’t like talking about him cause the less I mention him, the less likely he is to find me. That’s really all I want to avoid.

RENA: That bad?

LOGAN: Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. Like I said, it’s been a decade. Not sure he’s still thinking about me… In the beginning, I was quite scared, didn’t really know what he’d do if he got to me, but… I haven’t really been careful these last few years and I’m still alive so… who knows if he ever actually bothered to look for me.

[small pause]

RENA: I’m sorry.

LOGAN: Nah, don’t worry. I’ve got my own life now. Most days I don’t think of him either.

RENA: And your mother?

[small pause]

LOGAN: I prefer not to think of her. I really can’t tell what she’s thinking. If she misses me or not. She always preferred my brother anyway, so… probably doesn’t need the unruly son back.

RENA (small voice): I’m really sorry.

LOGAN: You don’t have to be. Life’s just like that sometimes.

[pause]

RENA (small voice): I don’t like just sitting here and waiting.

LOGAN: Yeah, not if we dive head-first into sadness with every subject we start. Next, you’ll ask me about all my failed relationships. Maybe we can play a game instead. Wouldn’t that be fun? Maybe… ‘Round and round the council’? You know that one? One of us thinks of the next High Lord or Lady to die, how they met their mysterious end and which one of their siblings or cousins is responsible for it and the other one has to ask questions and figure out the conspiracy.

RENA (small voice, hesitant): I don’t know much about those families.

LOGAN (thinking out loud): Right, right, right. Something else then. ‘The cat’s donkey’? But we’d need to be at least three people for that one. Maybe once Rodrick’s back. Isn’t there a game about the old gods, too? ‘Faith unbound’, something like that. I’m sure Rodrick knows all about it. He probably knows so many games if he’s been travelling around the kingdom talking to people. What did he call himself? Scribe of the lands? Are games part of the lands?

               [SFX bed creak]

RENA (abrupt, then hesitant): What if … we go find the monastery too?

LOGAN: …Rena…

RENA (abrupt): Just to make sure Kalani and the others aren’t in trouble! I feel like I’m going to burst out of my skin waiting here, not knowing what’s happening to them, not knowing where they are and what the Crow’s planning or doing, not knowing if they’re safe or hurting. Don’t you feel awful sitting here, safe and secure, while any number of things could be happening to them?

LOGAN: And what do you want us to do about that?

RENA (panicky): I don’t know! I’m sure there’s something we could be doing. T-there’s safety in numbers, right?

LOGAN: Not in this situation. Not when there’s probably like fifty or a hundred of them and six of us.

RENA: But… A-at least we’d know what’s happening. What if they’re already dead? What if we wait until the morning and they don’t come back and then it’s noon and then evening and they’re still not here? How long do we wait? And then what? We just go back to Cass and tell them Kalani’s dead? We tell them we failed and let their wife die?

LOGAN: Rena, Kalani knows what she’s doing. She isn’t going to storm the monastery without telling us about it. They’re just checking the place out so we know what we’re dealing with. She’d never confront anyone without being one hundred per cent certain she had the upper hand.

RENA: But what if something happens? What if the Crow spots them and they get dragged into a fight?

LOGAN: I reiterate, what do you want us to do about it? You have no fighting experience and my stomach was ripped apart less than a week ago! I know I’m a phenomenal actor, but this shit hurts!

RENA: I don’t know! Something! I’m sure there’s something we can do. Throw rocks or distract them or call for help. Not just sit here and do nothing while all our friends die. And who knows what they’re doing to Maya? What they’ve already done to her! Empty her of who she is so they can put their god into her body. Make her someone she isn’t. She’s the only family I have left. Wouldn’t you want to save your brother?

LOGAN (menacing): Don’t…

[SFX sheets rustling, bed creaking, footsteps walking around on wooden floor0]

RENA (panicky, pleading): Oh my stars, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I-I just… I can’t stay here, Logan. I’m so sorry, but I just can’t. A-and either you come with me or I go on my own and I really don’t like forcing this choice on you but I-I can’t stay here and at least if I tell you about it you’ll know where I’ve gone and you don’t panic thinking someone got to me and you can take your own decision whether you want to join which I don’t think you should, considering your injury but also I’m terrified of going alone and I wish I didn’t let Kalani convince me to stay here and I had just gone with them because why does Finn get to go and I don’t and I know Kalani’s smart and she knows what’s best for us but she doesn’t know what this feels like and who would I be if I stayed here, safe, and let everyone else get hurt again so, yeah, … I’m leaving with or without you. I’m sorry.

LOGAN: [very long sigh] This is such a bad idea.

RENA: I’ll be careful, I promise. I just… can’t live with the not-knowing. I’m not going to engage with any of them! I know that I can’t fight. You don’t all have to remind me of it all the time.

LOGAN: I’m not letting you leave on your own.

RENA (concerned): Are you … sure? Can you walk for that long?

LOGAN: I guess we’ll find out but you’re not stepping out of this room unsupervised.

[small pause]

RENA (murmur): Thank you.

LOGAN (dismissive): Yeah, yeah. I was getting bored anyway.

[SFX sheets rustling, bed creaking, a few footsteps]

RENA: We should let Rodrick know where we’re going.

LOGAN: We really shouldn’t. He needs to stay here with the dog anyway. And he’s got his ritual to investigate or whatever.

RENA: He’ll worry about where we’ve gone.

LOGAN: We can leave him a note. I’m sure he’s got something to write in one of the bags.

[SFX footsteps, rummaging in backpack]

RENA: Do you think he’ll be upset we left without him?

LOGAN: Rena, you’re one of us now. You lie and you manipulate and you weasel your way into getting what you want. You don’t have to worry about others’ opinions anymore.

[SFX paper rustle]

RENA (affronted, confused): I am not one of you! Whatever that means. I don’t lie to my friends… if it isn’t strictly necessary. And I don’t manipulate anyone… Do I?

[SFX scribbling on paper]

LOGAN: What do you think you just did?

RENA (affronted): I- …

LOGAN: Rena, it’s fine. I’m proud of you. You’re finally learning something from me.

RENA (affronted): Don’t say that.

LOGAN: You’ll be the perfect thief in no time!

RENA (upset): No I won’t!

LOGAN: Don’t worry, you can become an honest thief. You know, do a good deed while getting stinking rich and all that.

RENA: That’s not how it works! That’s still bad. I don’t want to steal from others!

LOGAN (cheerful): You’ll change your mind soon enough. Now come, I’m sure there’s a sword that’s just waiting to be stolen somewhere in this hovel.

[SFX footsteps, door creaks open, footsteps leading away]

[small pause]

RENA (shocked): Logan!

~~~~

[SFX evening nature sounds, footsteps on pebbles]

They did not, in fact, find a sword that was just waiting to be stolen, but they did find two kitchen knives that almost looked like daggers if you squinted at them from the right angle.

Rena wasn’t sure what to do with the knife Logan gave her. She should have been used to holding it, she’d cooked enough meals in her life, but having taken it out of its usual environment, she’d somehow lost the ability to carry it naturally. She held it in front of her in both hands before remembering that her dress had pockets, but that turned out not to be a great solution either. It weighed her dress down unevenly, threatened to tear a hole in one of the only pieces of clothing she had and banged against her leg as they snuck out of the town that was barely a town. But where else did people keep a weapon? Were they only meant for people who wore trousers? But simply holding it in her hands felt too threatening if anyone ran into them.

Rena’s eyes shifted around nervously as they walked between these strange buildings that seemed more like warehouses than homes. None of them, besides the inn Rena and Logan had come from, had windows and the further they got from the inn, the emptier the streets got. She almost hoped they’d run into Rodrick so they could tell him what they were up to after all – uneasy with leaving town with only a short note explaining where they were – but luck wasn’t on their side. Even when Rena strained her ears, she couldn’t hear anyone else’s presence, not even inside these strange buildings.

She’d never heard of Paemehri before but that hadn’t astonished her when Kalani had mentioned the town that afternoon. Kalani’d recalled it being no more than a tavern and two farms and Rena was sure she didn’t even know all such small towns in Vellashta. But she hadn’t seen any farms yet, just the aforementioned inn and these strange, long buildings that looked like they could fit into Hrevim’s merchant district or perhaps the docks. What was this town? Rena wasn’t even sure anyone lived here. At least she hadn’t noticed any homes yet. Were these long buildings simply for storage? If so, why were they out here and not in Hrevim where they could be kept safe?

LOGAN: Sooo, what now?

RENA (distracted): Hmm?

LOGAN: Where do we go?

RENA: I’m… not sure. North?

LOGAN: North… Reassuring.

RENA: Kalani didn’t have a map either.

LOGAN: Kalani’s also smarter than the both of us. Combined.

RENA (getting annoyed): I don’t know, Logan, I didn’t exactly plan this whole thing out! We’ll just walk around until we find it! Walking already feels much, much better than sitting in a tiny room on a smelly bed!

LOGAN: [sigh] Right. Just walking.

RENA (annoyed): You didn’t have to come!

LOGAN: I did, Rena. I really, really did.

~~~~

               [SFX footsteps on grass]

They walked until they couldn’t see Paemehri anymore and only the moon guided them. Rena tried to scan the ground for any traces or footprints Kalani and the others might have left but she’d never tracked anything down before, and learning a new skill was much more complicated by moonlight. She’d hoped they’d be able to see the monastery from far away, that a light would betray the Crow’s whereabouts, but Rena and Logan had been walking for over an hour and still hadn’t stumbled upon it. They’d seen lights in the distance once and had enthusiastically walked closer until they’d realised that the place the lights emanated from was much too big for an abandoned monastery and was, in all likelihood, simply a regular town.

LOGAN: You know what I just thought of?

RENA (distracted): Hmm?

LOGAN: What if… we don’t find our way back to Paemehri?

RENA (a bit upset): Don’t say that.

LOGAN: We’ve been walking for a while and we haven’t found anything yet.

RENA: We’ll find the monastery.

LOGAN: Sure. What if we don’t?

RENA (getting annoyed): [sigh] Then we go back the way we came from.

LOGAN: Do you remember where we came from?

RENA (annoyed): If we don’t find it we just go back to the other town we saw and get back to Paemehri in the morning. Or we simply sleep out here somewhere.

[SFX rustling leaves, footsteps stop for a short while]

Something moved in the corner of Rena’s eye and she automatically spun around but couldn’t catch what it’d been. There probably were plenty of wild animals around them, maybe even dangerous ones, who knew if sleeping in the wild would be such a good idea? Rena slipped her hand into her dress’ front pocket and wrapped it around the handle of the knife.

LOGAN (cranky): Look, I’m all for just storming out without a plan and letting luck decide where we’re going – life would be horribly boring without spontaneity – but I wish luck would consider the fact that all the medicine’s vanished from my body and walking isn’t exactly the best activity for people with wounds across their bellies and I’m cold and I’m tired and walking really isn’t that exciting.

RENA (annoyed muttering): You’re worse than Valerio when he was an infant.

LOGAN: When, exactly, do we admit that we have no idea what we’re doing and we should simply head back?

RENA (annoyed): I don’t know either, Logan, but we haven’t been out here for that long. Have you never had to walk long distances before?

LOGAN: Sure, but not in the dark while I’m bleeding out.

RENA (annoyed): You’re not bleeding out.

LOGAN: I-

RENA (interrupting): Wait.

               [SFX footsteps stop]

[SFX few, quick footsteps]

RENA: Hoofmarks!

LOGAN: What?

[SFX other footsteps run closer]

LOGAN: Oh shit, hoofmarks!

Rena frantically looked around, trying to find a logical explanation for why there would be a trail of hoofmarks in the wild. The trail was too narrow and well-trodden to have come from wild horses and it was too broad to be from a single traveller. The path had been used more than once but not often enough to’ve become an actual road. They were too far away from any actual towns and no merchant would lead their horses over such rocky terrain for no good reason, so why were these tracks here?

Rena looked out over the distance, trying to determine in which direction they should follow the trail when she saw something else. Orange fur glowing against the dark soil, more than should have been possible in the moonlight.

FOX: Finally.

[small pause]

RENA (getting progressively angry): What?… Why are you here?… What do you want?!

FOX: It is time.

RENA: Time for what?

LOGAN (confused): Rena?

RENA (panicked): You see it, right? Tell me that you see it?!

LOGAN (perplexed): T-the fox? Y-yeah, I see it.

RENA: Do you hear it?! Can you also hear it talk? I-it speaks directly into your mind, I don’t know how it does it.

LOGAN (perplexed): Yeah, yeah, I hear it… What is it?

RENA (angry): I don’t know! It’s everywhere! Everywhere I go, it shows up and just runs away! And now it’s started talking and telling me to hurry up and I don’t know what it wants!

LOGAN (muttering): Maybe my wound’s worse than I thought. I didn’t think I had a fever but …

RENA: You don’t! It’s actually there!

FOX: Your time is running out.

RENA: Why do you always have to be so mysterious?! Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on? Are you helping me? Are you working with the Crow? What is this?! What are you?!

FOX: I can show you the way.

RENA: The way to what?! The monastery? Why can’t you just say that? Why should I follow you when I’m not even sure where we’re going?

FOX: Trust me.

[SFX leaves rustling, fast steps leaving]

[pause]

LOGAN: Are we… going to follow it?

[small pause]

RENA: No. I’m not going to reward this kind of behaviour. We can follow the hoofmarks on our own.

LOGAN: Okay… Left or right?

[small pause]

RENA: Right.

LOGAN: So, where the fox went?

RENA (mutter): Shut up.

[SFX footsteps]

~~~~

They walked for what felt like another hour. The further they got, the more Rena started to lose hope, started to think that maybe following the hoofmarks had been a bad idea, that not following the fox had been the wrong choice, but she couldn’t think about all that for too long. She had to focus on the Crow and Kalani and her sister. Trust in her own decisions. Simply going back to Paemehri wasn’t an option anymore. It would feel too much like abandoning them all over again.

Logan grabbed her arm and stopped.

               [SFX footsteps pausing]

LOGAN (whisper): Wait.

[Pause]

Rena slowly looked around, her entire body stiff, until she saw a faint light in the distance to their right.

RENA (unbelieving, whisper): Is that… it?

LOGAN: (whisper): I really hope so.

[Pause]

RENA (whisper): [quivering breath] Okay. Let’s get closer.

They approached slowly, eyes glancing in every direction to make sure they were truly alone. More lights joined the one they’d seen as they advanced, but not enough to signal they’d simply found another city. Whatever it was they were approaching, it was on top of a hill, partly carved into the rock. Stone walls, covered in lichen, appeared in the dark. They clearly showed their age as parts of them were missing and had fallen to the ground. At first, Rena thought the structure was covered in strange dots, but as they got closer, they revealed themselves to be the same crudely carved bird figurines that Rena had found in Oceansthrow. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of them, the memories of the fire flooding back in an instant. She had to press on, no matter how scared she suddenly found herself – she was so close to her sister now.

Logan kept a hand on her arm, their backs hunched as they circled the old monastery. Rena hoped with all her might that they’d run into Kalani or Asha or Finn, that they would find someone who could tell them what to do now that they’d reached the Crow’s hideout. She wasn’t sure she could figure it out on her own. All she wanted was to run inside and find her sister but she knew that was a bad idea. They had to be sneaky if they wanted to get back to Paemehri safely.

FOX: Come this way.

Rena’s head spun around to the fox that was sitting on a stone to their right, eyes glowing in the dark as it stared at her.

Only two paths lay in front of us this week:

• On the first path, Rena and Logan follow the fox into the monastery.
• On the second path, Rena and Logan find their own way into the monastery.

You can cast your vote by going to the show’s twitter page, the tumblr page, or on theheartpyre.com. You have until January 26th to cast your vote.

As always, if you like this podcast, consider leaving a review or supporting it on Ko-Fi or Patreon. You can also get the novelization of the first season as an ebook and paperback from most major retailers.

You can find transcripts for each episode, character art, and a map of the kingdom on theheartpyre.com.

The intro music is Lonely Dusty Trail by Jon Presstone.

The Heart Pyre is written and produced by me, Audrey Martin.

Thank you for listening.

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